July 2011
I am the biggest elitest asshole who has ever walked this planet, I swear to God.
- (Walking through Tower City last night after the Nicki/Britney concert)
- Jen: "Where did you guys park?
- Me: "We're in the underground lot."
- Jen: "So, we're going down this escalator?"
- Me: "Ewwww, NO. That's the entrance to the Rapid, we ARE NOT going down there!"
- Jen: "The Rapid?"
- Me: "Yeah, the train.
- Jen: "Oh."
- Me: "Sorry that I have a job and a car and I'm above that shit. I DO NOT RIDE THE RAPID!"
- (Group of people walking in front of us turn and go down the escaltor to the Rapid, giving me the Death Glare the entire time)
Just got home from the concert and I'm still crying about how much I love Nicki and how amazing she was.
Oh, sorry that I've been absent from Tumblr for a hot sec...
but I was too busy almost dying of fucking alcohol poisoning at a Bone Thugs concert last night (which was canceled because of inclement weather btws) to be on the interwebs.
I swear to Jesus, most people get this shit out of their systems by the time they’re 21, but not me. I was responsible at that age and now it’s all going to shit.
Just a life update for y’all.
“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’”
—Louis CK. (via whydoihaveablog)
Sephora
Here, take this flare gun. If I’m not back with some lip gloss in twenty minutes, fire it once into the air and cancel all of our credit cards.
Is it considered slutty to have sex with 2 different guys in the span of 5 days???
I don’t know, I don’t give a fuck anymore.
I have no fucking idea what I'm doing talking to these no game motherfuckers.
You think that just because you paid for my $14 meal at Olive Garden, that means that I have to suck your dick?
HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING NO.
I went out in The Valley last night and I witneseed a dude, who was wearing a bucket hat, getting play from some chick.
“Why would he want to fuck her nasty, stretched out pussy instead of mine?”
—Proof that I cannot drink Jager in any capacity.
