October 2011
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Hw u aint got no hangover
– A tweet from a dude that I banged a few times.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF K-12 SCHOOLING DID YOU GO THROUGH, DUDE?!?!?
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I cleaned off my desk tonight for the first time...
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Spent half the afternoon trying on Homecoming...
-Diary of a 26 year old women.
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Ugh, Best Feeling In The World '11.
I predicted in 4th grade that this dude was gay and it was confirmed tonight that he is. I AM THE QUEEN FAG HAG, ALL OTHERS BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!!!
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Yeah, she told me that she had a heart conditon so I asked her if she wanted me...
– My favorite manger, Jeremy (who hasn’t given a single fuck since the Bush Administration) after some old lady fainted at my work last night.
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Having a straight, ex-frat boy as a best friend...
He just came back from a bachelor party weekend in Vegas and the stories were GOLDEN.
Some of my favorites, in no particular order.
He got black out drunk the first night, passed out in the lobby of Ceaser’s, and got into a verbal altercation with a cop because the cop thought he had wondered in off the streets. He was so drunk that he couldn’t remember the suite number, so the cop...
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In which one of my best friend's is my telepathic...
I went out with 4 of my best friend’s tonight and the greatest thing in the world happened. When we got to the bar we all split off. The married couple stayed outside to smoke, my friend Monica went up to the bar on drink duty, and my friend Mike and I went in search of a table. After Mike and I had secured a table, I said to him “I’m praying to God that Mon gets us some Sam...
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