- Kate: Awwww, did you see these pictures of Hillary Duff getting engaged?
- Me: Yeah, and I saw the one right after that where she was blowing him...
- Kate: That didn't happen
- Me: Look it up, why would I lie about this?
- Kate: (looks it up) I don't believe it.
- Me: Ummm, I'm pretty familiar with a dick suck, that's what's going down right there.
- Kate: No one would do that after they got engaged...
- Me: IRRELEVENT, IT HAPPENED!!!!
- Dave: Hey Wassup, are you out in Kent right now?!?!?!
- Me: "No, but I'm sure this means that your new chick isn't then?! NO ONE disrespects me and gets away with it, NO ONE!!! Do you not listen or are you just straight up dumb? I'm guessing the latter. If you can't understand the words 'NEVER AGAIN', then I'm sorry you're a dumbass. NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN."
…It’s pretty much the only thing I’ve put effort into in the past week. That trend is continuing today, because I’m working my bad bitchness extra hard right now.
Get it Guuuuuurrrrrlllll!!!!
…so that was 15 minutes of uncontrollable laughter right there.
- Liz: What are you doing?!?
- Me: A lil yoga because my back hurts...it's called the Cobra pose.
- Liz: It looks like you're doing the whale.
- Me: WHAT?!?!
- Liz: You know, that dance where you grind on the floor.
- Me: Ummmmm, you mean the worm?!
- Liz: Oh, is that it?
- Me: Yeah...do you think whales move like that?
- Liz: Well, underwater maybe.
- Me: Jesus...