November 2010
True Life: I'm in love with my 16 year old co-worker.
It all started when I jokingly told him that he was my “Baby Work Boyfriend” and he laughed and told me that I was “funny as shit”. Then we started making fun of people we work with together. Last week he asked me if I wanted to “Smoke Tree” with him before the work Christmas Party in a few weeks, obviously I said yes. Then I Facebook-stalked him just now and saw that his activities said “Being Amish”.
I can’t fight it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Come see me, Cops.
“I mean, maybe we’ll start off slow, with a welcome home blowjob or something, but… we’ll see how it goes… light some candles, heat up a fuckin’ Lean Cuisine, and go to town…”
—Kenny Fucking Powers
“I noticed on Fox News they were calling her “Governor” Palin, which is like calling me “Dairy Queen Employee.” I was once, but I’m not anymore.”
—Tina Fey (via mykicks)
This girl I went to high school with just got married and made a joint Facebook with her fat, bald husband who is 15 years her senior...
Ughhhhhhhhhhh. I hate people so much.
Me to the next person who puts an "OMG IT'S SNOWING" status on facebook, even though it's fucking November in Ohio and it's not even sticking...
My feelings about the no life fagz who are bringing drama to my life, in a gif...
Yeah, Hi, I’m still fucking flawless. You and your petty hating are not going to break my (perfect) spirit. GURL BYE.
HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT KNOW THAT DICK VITALE HAD A TWITTER?!?!
I can’t even right now. I love this man so much. Jesus Christ.
