My name is Mary and I don't have a little lamb.

Just another upper middle class white girl complaining about things.

Whatever. She stays pressed because the man that was the worst thing that ever happened to me was almost the best thing that happened to her

—I got mad philosophical at work today re: some dumb bitch that almost fucked an old jump off of mine.

lindsaylohoean:

me when i know a person is adding stuff that didn’t happen into a story just so they look cooler in front of a group of people

image

Me, during every story Ralf’s best friend has ever told.

(via ruinedchildhood)